Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Reflection: Back to school Journal #1

September 5th, 2012

My two daughters went back to school (Kindergarten and 1st grade).  While some mothers were saddened by this event.  I must say I was elated. Please do not get me wrong.  I looove my daughters and they are my world but it was time to go back. I heard the restlessness in their voices when all the summer activities seemed to  slow down (plus at the tail end I was fighting a cold that sucked all my energy).  My older daughter is more studious, so even though I did what I could by homeschooling (and I take pride in being my daughters  first teacher) nothing replaces Mrs. Such-and-So's colorful classroom in academia.  And as for my younger one, she is the adventurous, laid back type that will go for the ride.  As for myself, I need to have some me time again and this time around I have more than just two and half hours of free time that I got when my younger daughter was in PreK. I have six and half hours to do a helluva lot.  I could make doctors appointment, go back to the gym, sit in my favorite coffee shop and write, take driving lessons (yes, finally!), and take an online writing course to help me further a writing project.  Oh, yeah, and deep clean the house into a semi-Feng Shui way.  I've already signed up for an online course starting Monday, found a copy of the written test for a Learner's Permit, already planning on cleaning the basement today, composing a list of appointments I need to make for myself, planning on going to a yoga class next Friday, and the writing is already in place with the coffee shop to follow.

September 12th, 2012

So, today, my younger daughter decides to have a Separation Anxiety attack.  I must say, it took me by surprise.  I thought she would have had it last week but I guess the excitement wore off because as she sat on the toilet this morning, she looked at me with her brown glossy eyes, proclaiming she didn't want to go to school because she misses me.  Well, my eyes started to gloss over too.  As I wiped her (she's only four and doesn't do a great job when she does number two), I reminded her that I will be there to pick her up but that's not good enough because the tears start flowing.  For the next half and hour I try to get her to eat and tell her we have to go to school and drop off her sister.  She asks me after we drop off her to school could she come home with me.  I tell her that I'm going to be doing my work for my class and I would not be able to spend time with her.  My younger daughter says she wouldn't disturb me and then, my older daughter pipes in with, "She could watch TV or play in the playroom."   I try to tell them that everyone must do their job:  Daddy's job was to go to work, my job was to do my school work, and their job was to go to school.   Well, this didn't fly. As she ate her eggs, I went downstairs to call my husband.  When I told him the situation, he said it would be alright for one day.  I thought if I let her not go to school that it would be a domino effect for the next day. He agreed and we both decided that I'll take her backback, lunch  and let her play in the playgound while I talked to her teacher. 

I have to retract what I said earlier about being surprised.  I kind of new something was wrong because for the past two days she didn't eat her lunch.  The first day, I thought because I bought a new thermos to keep her spagetti and meatballs in and she couldn't open it and the second day, I made her a liverwurst sandwich (yes, she likes liverwurst) and she didn't eat.  I thought, she was full because I made french toast that morning (plus at school they have snack at 9:30am and lunch around 11ish-which I don't understand). Also, when she was in line for her class, she had a sad face.  I asked her was everything alright and she said yes.  I just thought, she was sad because two of her 'girlfriends' (that's what she refers to them as) were in front of the line talking to each other. I believe her outburst today was accumulation of everything.

After I spoke to her teacher, we walked to where my older daughter had to line up. I left my older daughter on line with the mother of an old schoolmate from her Pre K school and walked back to my younger daughter's line up area.  My daughter was still crying about staying home with me when I saw one of her girlfriends and said why don't we say Hi.  My daughter was not letting me put her social butterfly wings on her. I even asked her who was her boyfriend ( the boy who sat next to her in Art class and she drew a picture of) but she refused to show me.  I kissed her and said I loved her and I'll be back.  The mother of my daughter's girlfriend  asked if my older daughter did the same.  I said no and confessed I didn't know what to do. She told me wait for the teacher, she'll know what to do.  The bell rang and out came the teacher.  She looked at my daughter and said don't worry as I handed her my daughter's backpack and lunchbag.  I kissed my daughter on the cheek trying to ignore her pleads of coming home with me.  I told the teacher to call me and she said she will.  I walked out the school yard feeling my eyes water.  The mother of my daughter's girlfreind called to me from across the street and said she calmed down a bit.  At this news, I felt a little better.  When I got home, I checked my house phone for any new messages, I did have one from my daughter's teacher.  She said everything is alright and she sat my daughter with her two friends (one was at her table and the other one was behind her at the table next to her).  I was relieved my daughter was surrounded by her girlfriends;0)

As for me, I started my Creative Nonfiction class and it is going well.  I'm doing a lot of reading (I'm taking a break to write this blog post). I must admit I'm a little nervous about the writing assignment (it's due September 30th).  I have two thoughts for a essay that I started and don't know which one to finish for the assignment.  Plus, I hope I have time to complete it because it's not easy to find time to read, write, take care of two girls and a husband (Lol:0).  But, I'll make due;0)

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Sandra Proto debut poem at the age of twelve was entitled, The Late Great April, giving homage to the first time it snowed in April. She wrote Late Great April as an English class assignment and her teacher was so impressed by the poem that he tried to get it published. After this experience, Sandra became a "Bedroom Poet" who composed Blackberry Beauty,Light, Compositions, and many others. Blackberry Beauty (her signature poem) was featured in SaSi's Production of Identity @ Space at 24 in 2000. Sandra has performed with the funky, folky, reggae rock band Hudson’s Hope. Her poetry is featured on VAMPIRE LESBIANS and ALL I CAN SEE IS HER EYES tracks of their demo CD. Sandra is also, a fiction writer, playwright, and an essayist.

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